Actual radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations, 10-10-95.
Radio #1: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.
Radio #2: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to South to avoid a collision.
#1: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
#2: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
#1: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER ENTERPRISE, WE ARE A LARGE
WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!
#2: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
I don't think the image below can really be classed as full nudity
as although nothing is being worn, I think it needs a fairly major
expedition to find anything that could be regarded as even vaguely
erotic / arousing / genital in nature. Of course if big boobs are your
thing, then I guess they might count. She (for I think it is female)
must presumably need some fairly serious power to be able to
uphaul from that position. Somehow I reckon even really str8
guys would think twice before turning down a BJ from a cute lad
instead of having to hump away at this young lady.
Give a man a fish, he eats for a day,
Show a man how to fish and he eats for a lifetime,
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day,
Set a man on fire and is warm for the rest of his life.
I know it is not politically correct, but I found it funny.
While busy working I was handed this piece of fax paper, it contained, among other things, a rather unusual article which was printed first in the Los Angeles Times. It was an article from a hospital who held a press conference on a rather unusual case they had admitted.
Anyone who finds sexual kinks and perversions distasteful are respectfully reminded that the "back button" on their browser DOES work and they should read no further. The following article is true, sick, perverse and had me crying with laughter. Read it if you want to.
"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake, but I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told bemused doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital.
Tomaszewski and his gay partner Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong.
"I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in," he explained.
"As usual, Kiki shouted out "Armageddon", my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn't come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him."
At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what happened next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out of the tube, igniting Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball." Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract."
No comment was made on the health of the Gerbil.
The Signs you can find on cars - and what they mean